MADDIE
Sometimes oil and water, sometimes thick as theives, Maddie and John shared a special bond. She is the youngest of three with two older brothers. There is no question that she was her daddy’s little girl, and no one would refute that she was the most spoiled of the three. Maddie attends James Maddison University and the last time she saw her dad was during one of his pop-bys while working in the area. He loved taking “his girls” out to dinner and they loved hanging out with “Big Guy.” Like most things we have come to treasure, the video taken at the table that night is now a cherished reminder of their bond.
There was a lot of commotion at our house and friends started stopping in to make sure all was ok. Recognizing that there would be no end to the curiousity, and needing to complete an accurate accounting of what happened that day, the police sent us down the street to our friend’s house. I took shelter in their upstairs guest room with my dog, but could hear every time someone new entered the house. The number of people who now knew reminded me of the swift moving tide of social media, and I once again panicked, worrying that Maddie would find out from someone other than me.
Charlie, my brother, was working in Washington, DC, that day so the plan was for him to drive to JMU and be there when I called Maddie. But traffic was heavy and he was two hours away. Anxiety kicked in and I started texting her roommates to see where she was. Emma reported that Maddie was in class, as was she. I begged Emma to ask her professor if she could leave and talk to me, that it was urgent. When she was finally able to call I told her what had happened and that I needed her and their other roommate, Natalie, to be there when Maddie got out of class to make sure she went right back to the apartment.
They reported back when Maddie left class, saying that they tried to get her to ride with them, but having her own car she looked at them with a particular stink eye they knew all too well. She sensed something was up. Back at their apartment, Emma called to say that Maddie was in her room. I told her to stay close, that Maddie was going to need her and Natalie.
I dialed Maddie’s phone. She picked up and in an annoyed voice said, “What! What are you doing?” I said, “Hi. Mads I need to tell you something and I need you to let the girls in your room, you are going to need them,” “Why? Stop. What is it,” this time in a worried voice. “Oh God, it’s not good, Mads.” I started to cry. “I’m so sorry, it’s dad…he is dead,” once again barely able to get the words out of my mouth. “Why, What do you mean?” she asked again, now sounding very confused. “He shot himself, Mads. He shot himself.”
And just like her brothers, the tears started to flow and the confusion grew even stronger. Uncle Charlie would be there in an hour to console her and bring her home. In eleven hours the four of us would all be together. The four of us. That’s what it would be from now on, just the four of us.
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