This is the last family picture of all five of us ever taken. It was the remaining night of our epic McGeary/Kelly Italy vacation, November 23, 2018. We had spent the day in a family cooking class in Rome; shopping at the market, singing, cooking, drinking, eating, and more drinking. A quick stroll through the crowded Friday evening streets of Rome enabled us to see three more landmarks before we all went our separate ways on Saturday morning. Sitting on the Spanish Steps laughing and talking ... to the best of my knowledge, we were all happy
On February 27, 2019, just three months and four days later, John (my husband and dad to our three children) took his life...a choice that trapped our family and friends in a vortex of grief struggling to understand what could have happened to bring this life-of-the-party guy to carry out such an unthinkable act.
This past week was the start of National Suicide Awareness Month. Today marks the first day of Suicide Awareness Week and September 10th is the global day of awareness. It’s hard to know what I could’ve done, should’ve done, to prevent John’s death. I have some ideas, but when I have reasoned through them by myself or with a therapist or a friend (and a lot of times I still do) we never get to suicide as the rational answer.
Untouched by this epidemic and mental health issues, it likely isn’t somethjng you think about often. But when it becomes your reality it hits hard and is always top of mind. A lot of my time these days is spent wondering how to prevent this from happening to anyone else, how you create a world where the likes of anxiety and depression don’t exist. Where being number one isn’t the end goal, but having enough and having a purpose makes life meaningful and livable. I don’t have all the answers, but to steal a line from @oprah, this is “what I know for sure.”
You never truly know what is going on in someone else’s life.
Kindness does matter.
You should never be afraid to ask for help or seek advice, and no one should ever judge you for doing so.
You are loved.
Last November as part of the “Movember” movement I started to share my family’s story of loss in the hopes that those who were suffering silently would find a friend...just one friend...to open up to. I stopped sharing when COVID began as the world was suffering its own unimaginable losses and it seemed to warrant its own time and space. But with this virus has come increased anxiety, depression and self doubt. Basic, everyday, interactions cut off, companies downsizing or outsourcing to save money, employees doing triple the work they were hired to do, families forced to live, work and school from one location... is it any doubt that mental health issues are on the rise?
So please, if you are suffering, reach out for help. If you are a business owner or people leader, establish mental health checks. Let’s create a world where it’s ok to say that we are overwhelmed or uneasy or sad. Let’s infuse mental health into our everyday conversations. Let’s remember to say, “How are you?” Let’s be kind.
Follow me on Instagram (@i_turned_the_corner), Facebook or at www.iturnedthecorner.com this week as I continue the story of our Suicide experience. And check out @mixedbymaddie on Thursday for a sweet deal aimed at creating kindness and supporting our local @namilehighvalley organization.
If you are depressed or anxious and are having thoughts of suicide, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255.
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