This past week the kids and I said goodbye to our home of 20 years....a home filled with joy and love and laughter...and so many amazing memories. They helped me pack boxes on Saturday (not really what they were expecting), had a nice dinner out and then hung in together for a movie night. Just the four of us for one final night...
On Sunday, we all woke early and headed to Philly to participate in the Out of the Darkness walk for suicide awareness. It was a cold, rainy morning...the kind where you question why the hell you are soaking wet in the middle of a road walking, instead of sleeping comfortably in a nice warm bed. But we were all there, and on this particular weekend it was where we belonged.
Not at all odd, I thought a lot about John on my walk. I/we have come so far in our healing, but there are events (from the last three and a half years, and those still to come) that take me back to that roaring laugh and great big smile...vivid reminders of the great man we lost and still very much miss.
Recently I had the opportunity to participate in a short documentary film, Give Me Shelter: Suicide, produced by Teri Haddad and her company eMediaWorks, and sponsored by Lehigh Valley Health Network - Mack Blvd., Olympus Corporation Of The Americas, and Air Products. Filming my segment in our home brought up a lot of buried emotion and reminded me of how important it is to keep pushing the message of mental health and suicide awareness. There is a lot of suffering and illness in the world, and we need to be respectful of the fact that we are not all alike and that some people suffer more, or in different, ways than others...that some people are open about their pain and others hide it under a mask of over confidence and smiles. You really never ever know for sure what someone is thinking or feeling. So be kind. You never know what kind of impact you can have on someone's life.
I hope that all of my friends will take a short time out of their day to watch the film...not because of my role in its making, but because there is a message in here that everyone should hear.
Please remember that if you or someone you know is in crisis, you can find help and guidance by call 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
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