Sunday is God’s day of rest, so that is what we did. The family took a recess from the visitors and the noise and the conversations. The need to get out of the house was evident; the break was both physical and mental. Two or three hours of distraction would have us focused on something other than the unending question, and specific family time would allow Kassia and Charlie, my sister’s children, some needed time to visit with me and their cousins. The house was a constant flux of friends, so even when the kids were there it was hard to focus on them. At fifteen and thirteen this loss was inconceivable for them.
The weather not yet stable (it was just the third day of March) so an obvious and fun choice was bowling! It had been years since John and I bowled. In fact, it must have been for one of the kid’s birthday parties. John was a good bowler. In general, he was a good athlete. He was so strong. The bowling ball would soar down the lane and hit the pins with such force that it sounded like they might take flight. Being there, experiencing it without him, brought realization to a pattern that was beginning. This was the start of all the firsts without him. The only thing worse than realizing it, was knowing that the others felt it too. Recognizing how much it hurt, I would have done anything to protect them from the pain of this loss.
Armed with pizzas, wings and plenty of cold beers (for those of us who were legal, and maybe even for some of us who weren’t) we divvied up into teams. I can’t remember who bowled with whom, I just recall that we were all there…every Kuczynski and Kelly, me, the kids, my mom and dad, Gabbie, Kat and Gabbie’s parents... and that was all that mattered.
Charles was the last of the Kelly’s home, arriving just that morning. He and Uncle John were buddies. Conversations centered around lacrosse and John would tease Charles about his dad’s overbearing “lax dad” obsession. I remember looking around and loving that we were all together, but hating that “everyone” now meant everyone except John. I also don’t remember who won, but I know that we laughed hard and that we needed every minute of the distraction that day.
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